The Warp And The Weft

by Thaddeus Spae

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A round of strange and wonderful songs on the usual subjects — paranoia, dentistry, weaving, love, nutrition, ghosts, sailboats and simians in charge of high explosives— performed on 6 and 12 string guitar, guitarron, trombone, uke, percussion and more.


released August 15, 2011

Thaddeus Spae: EVERYTHING (except cover photo).



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Thaddeus Spae Seattle, Washington

A 40-year veteran of the Folk Wars, Thaddeus Spae has played venues from Tipitina's to the EMP. He's an award-winning songwriter whose works range from quirky to literate, guardedly sentimental to outraged and sarcastic, performed on a panoply of instruments acoustic and electric, in a profligate variety of styles encompassing folk, hard rock, jazz, blues, electronic and more. Website: ... more

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Track Name: Opening Day
On opening day
the clouds roll away
the sky's blue as corn
the sun is reborn
and it shines on the bay
on opening day
the boats dip and sway
like lovers that yearn
they lean and they turn
and return to the quay
on opening day

On opening day
the world's a bouquet
and lavender blows on the breeze
and the sounds in your ears
are all laughter and cheers
and the murmur of birds in the trees

On opening day
the children at play
sing songs as they hide and go seek
and the songs that they sing
are of peace, hope and spring
and life when it reaches its peak

On opening day
you may do what you may
old sins are reprieved
old debts are relieved
and there's heaven to pay
on opening day
Track Name: Sausage
I can't bite into a redhot
out at the park in the shade
ketchup and mustard don't help me
i know how sausage is made

I back away from salami
fresh from the circular blade
no kielbasa or bloodwurst
i know how sausage is made

I've seen the grinder
i've seen the skin
i've seen the plunger
stuffing the stuffing on in

You can keep your chorizo
your baloney parade
i'll stick with my tea and crumpets
i know how sausage is made

I've seen the chimney
i've seen the plume
i've seen the butcher
herding the herd to their doom

Don't bring a braunschweiger sandwich
if you want to get paid
just keep those carrot sticks coming
i know how sausage is made
Track Name: I'll Show You Mine
I know the things
that nosiness brings
i know the dangers of opening drawers
i've seen my share
of weird underware
i'll show you mine if you show me yours

I've been around
and generally found
every smooth skin is infested with pores
pause for the cause
don't hide your flaws
i'll show you mine if you show me yours

Galahad was perfect so the legends say
a paragon as well
but though he was a hero in his public life
what he did in private they don't tell

Here in my eyes
you're such a prize
no one picks nits on the one he adores
your faults are fine
your warts are divine
i'll show you mine if you show me yours

Kitty cats may die of curiosity
but only now and then
for every cat that dies of curiosity
lack of satisfaction wipes out ten

Come to my aid
and burn your stockade
living alone is a lifetime of chores
my heart is true
it's all about you
i'll show you mine if you show me yours
i'll give you mine if you give me yours
Track Name: Misery Loves Company
I'm a loser, you're a user
We're a team, it's true
Misery loves company
and that's why I love you

I'm a dreamer, you're a screamer
we go loop de loo
Misery loves company
and that's why I love you

Heaven must be beaming with pride
Couldn't be more lame if we tried dear

I'm a pouter you're a doubter
What else can we do?
Misery loves company
and that's why I love you

We don't care if raindrops don't fall
We don't mind the sunshine at all dear

I need plasma you've got asthma
I have asthma too
Misery loves company
and that's why I love you
Track Name: Luna Park
Luna park amusement park
is rising from the bay
just outside the window of
the luna park cafe
defying all the forces
That conspired to make it sink
be careful where you swim out there
it's deeper than you think

Luna park amusement park
had carousels and rides
cotton candy caramel corn
and games to win a prize
swing the hammer hit the plank
and ring the bell on top
luna park was so much fun
you'd never want to stop

And the band music played
for the evening promenade
dancing 'neith the golden moon
to the old familiar tune

But luna park amusement park
overplayed its hand
they shut it down and stripped it bare
just piers, a pool and sand
and someone was amused to go
and burn the rest for spite
to watch the flames blot out the stars
and fade into the night

But we all get confused
when we are not amused
burn our hearts to ash and air
in the dark fire of despair

(repeat 1st verse)
Track Name: Boneman
I got class
i got brass
i got length
i got strength
it's a gas
i got move
i got groove
i got style for a mile
you'll approve

Cmon baby i'm talkin to you
show you what a really horny dude can do

I'm a bone man
yeah i'm a boneman
you don't need no trumpet
you don't need no saxophone
mama what you need is a slide trombone

I got slide
i got glide
i got slip
i got grip
i take pride
i got feel
that's for real
i can go
i can blow
such a deal

Down at the session the blue-singin queen
said i had the biggest instrument she'd ever seen

I'm a bone man...
Track Name: Even Your Best Friends
Are you man enough to wear pink
are you really as smart as you think
are you positive you don't stink
even your best friends won't tell you

Does that lipstick really match your wig
do you jiggle when you dance a jig
does that dress make your booty look big
even your best friends won't tell you

Friends never choose to impose their own views
friends never seek to confront or accuse
there's little to gain
From being a pain
and ever so much more to lose

Is there whispering behind your back
is your suave facade starting to crack
are the aliens about to attack
even your best friends won't tell you

Friends never rise to the bait of your fear
friends never need to be candid or clear
recall the admonition
of the magician
to be nice or just disappear

Are you doomed to defeat and decay
is your life just a meaningless play
are you really going to die someday
even your best friends won't tell you
Track Name: Be Kind
Waiting on heaven wading thru hell
living at the bottom of a wishing well
there's rumors aplenty facts are few
we do our best at whatever we do

Ch: be kind
be kind
we're only here
For a very short time
so be kind
be kind
it don't matter
if you don't mind

Cast on the waters trying to float
refugees in the same leaky boat
snakes in the shadows fire in the sky
the real miracle is just getting by (ch)

You never know what can happen
fire burns itself water gets wetter
you never know what can happen
it can get better

Life passes slowly then it's done
you can't afford to be a lone gun
there's so many faces just one rule
like the king said don't be cruel (ch)
Track Name: Birthdays And X Rays
Sitting in the treatment chair
waiting for my dental care
brand new health insurance
no mistake
this is not my chosen way
to celebrate my natal day
not a single present and
too much cake

Ch: Birthdays and x rays
showing what's inside you
giving you a guide to
know your fate
birth and death are accidents
waiting to happen
life is just what happens
while you wait

Antiseptic in the air
muzak crooning by the stair
ready to receive my
gamma kiss
held down by a sheet of lead
aim the blaster at my head
Nursey lady telling me
bite on this (Ch)

Soon the kindly dentist comes
sinking tools into my gums
measuring the bone loss
with each gash
those two molars have to go
hate to have to tell you so
you don't need a root canal
you need cash (Ch)
Track Name: Dynamite Monkey
Dynamite monkey sits all alone
nurses his grievances longs for his home
cohort and comfort not in the cards
just a short leash and the plunger he guards
hands on the handle grip is not tight
probably won’t push him he might

don’t tease
dynamite monkey

Dynamite monkey sensitive soul
don’t like his job but he likes the control
never a motion never a twitch
biding his timing awake at the switch
could be up swinging high in the air
show some respect now he’s just sitting there

don’t sneeze
dynamite monkey

And at night he sleeps with one eye open
dreaming dreams of the final explosion
when the world is freed from its disguise
and bananas come raining from the skies

Dynamite monkey he's not to blame
he’s just a pawn in the big monkey game
sworn to the service purchased and sold
see hear and speak only what he is told
for the duration this is his fate
sit at attention and wait just wait

don’t tease
don’t sneeze
don’t squeeze
dynamite monkey
Track Name: Eat What's Put Before You
If you wanna get along
you better listen to this song
good or bad or right or wrong
Just eat what's put before you

your mama told you when
you were only 8 or 10
sat you in your chair and then
she said eat what's put before you

Now don't you go complaining
or acting doublecrossed
you ain't the one that fixed it
you don't know how much it cost

Make a smile out of your frown
turn that sad face upside down
be a happy circus clown
and eat what's put before you

Now if you feel neglected
by the portion on your plate
recall those kids in china
and commence to masticate

As your life goes rolling by
you will be served some humble pie
look that cook right in the eye
and eat what's put before you
don't ask how or what or why
just eat what's put before you
Track Name: The Warp And The Weft
The eldest of elderly women
weaving the world on her loom
running the thread on the shuttle
sorting the gleam and the gloom
the light and the dark
the slag and the spark
the cliff and the cleft
the warp and the weft

The wizard in back of the curtain
pulling the levers and strings
moving the pawns on the chessboard
people and prices and things
the take and the trade
the point and the blade
the hilt and the heft
the warp and the weft

The white coated mathematician
tracing events on a graph
x's and y's in concordance
singing like notes on a staff
the quarters of space
the time and the place
the right and the left
the warp and the weft

But the sights can't target the sign
and the lesson's too simple to learn
and the letters slip off of the line
and so we return to

The eldest of elderly women
plaiting the fates in her hair
stringing the stars for a necklace
her weaving is ready to wear
the moon and the sun
the lost and the won
the gauche and the deft
the warp and the weft