1. |
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Don't show your wallet to a rich man
remember he don't earn his pay
don't tell your troubles to a blind man
you know he'll never see things your way
don't dine at the cozy diner
don't play gin rummy with doc
don't think that you're immune
you're not
Ch:
there's a lesson to discover
lessin' you already know
better duck and run for cover
when the wind begins to blow
Don't double down on a lost cause
you ain't impressing anyone
don't tell your mama who you slept with
don't tell your papa what you done
don't wear good clothes to the market
don't let your honor drop
don't think that it's a game
it's not (ch)
Don't pick a fight with a madman
could be yourself you're trying to beat
don't put your faith in politicians
don't put your business in the street
don't sell your soul for a nickel
don't break your heart just to hear it pop
don't think that you're immortal
you're not (ch)
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2. |
Old Dogs
03:24
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Old dogs are the best dogs
they never bark at night
unless they hear a burglar
or think it's getting light
old dogs never hound you
they pick a comfy chair
and wait for you to wander by
and skritch them here and there
Old dogs are the best dogs
the best dogs through and through
and someday if i'm lucky
i'll be an old dog too
Old dogs are the best dogs
they really paid their dues
they climb up on the sofa
and help you watch the news
old dogs can remember
the way things used to be
they dream of chasing rabbits
and snore adorably
The best at all they do
Old dogs are the best dogs
they're never in a rush
not even if it's suppertime
or someone hollars mush
old dogs never worry
they're not afraid to leave
they only wish that they could stay
to comfort those who grieve
The best dogs tried and true
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3. |
Geezers With Guitars
04:05
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I went down to the local talent agency
to see if they could find a gig for me
some kind of a job in some kind of unkind joint
the lady in the office was kinda cute
in her clark kent glasses and her power suit
she sat me right down and got right to the point
She said geezers with guitars are a dime a dozen
geezers with guitars are a penny a head
that lady wasn't bluffing
i didn't cry or nothing
i went back home and went back to bed
because geezers with guitars don't care what they said
I went up to my favorite busking spot
smack on the corner of vacant and lot
whipped out my stellavarius for all the working stiffs to see
but they couldn't seem to tell if I was drunk or insane
or maybe a part of some ad campaign
nobody fed the kitty but they all took selfies with me
They said geezers with guitars are a dime a dozen
geezers with guitars gotta buy a permit
their numbers just get higher
few die and none retire
their species ain't endangered one bit
because the present day geezer refuses to quit
They got websites and kickstarts a to z
they got youtube videos and mp3s
they got this whole social media thing down cold
but they're old
Well I wish there was an answer but there's just no way
for a codger with an ax to get by today
you can't play the main stage or sing a hit song less you're young
but i'm going out tonight to an open mic show
with a lotta other geezers with guitars I know
and we'll be raising the roof until the last old dog gets hung
Because geezers with guitars are a force of nature
geezers with guitars got nothing better to do
you better watch out pilgrim
we're coming for your children
we'll teach them all to play guitar too
and someday geezers with guitars will outnumber you
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4. |
The Cheese
02:52
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The good guy gets the goodies
the squeaky wheel gets the grease
the early bird gets the squirmy worm
but the second mouse gets the cheese
The Springtime gets the sunshine
The Wintertime gets the freeze
The oyster gets the shiny pearl
But the second mouse gets the cheese
Make haste make space make merry
Take heed take heart take hope
Wash out your sins with holy blood
But wash your hands with soap
The Big Boss gets the big bucks
The big dog gets the fleas
The birthday boy gets to cut the cake
But the second mouse gets the cheese
Be thankful and be tranquil
Be calm and circumspect
avoid that strife and trust in life
but always cut the deck
Historians get the last word
the thief gets all she sees
the knight may get that princess yet
But the second mouse gets the cheese
assume the best expect the rest
But the second mouse gets the cheese
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5. |
Living In The Future
02:24
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We're living in the future
we cracked the spiral code
computers in our pockets
and gridlock on the road
we eat organic waffles
and mow our yards with goats
we're living in the future
they rammed it down our throats
We're living in the future
it's ominous and weird
but robots still take orders
it's better than we feared
we've got a million channels
but all the news is fake
we're living in the future
there must be some mistake
We're living in the future
they've got us on our backs
we haven't got our flying cars
or personal rocket packs
the internet remembers
what we tried to forget
we're living in the future
and it's not over yet
We're living in the future
more future every day
we're photographing pluto
while glaciers melt away
and time deals three-card monte
with jokers up its sleeve
we're living in the future
cuz it's too late to leave
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6. |
Lucky
04:28
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Don't mistake me for the latest thing
i don't do imitations of the king
but I ain't no kind of newcomer here
i've been underneith this rock for years
And it's a long weird road and it sure ain't soft
and you gotta be tough and plucky
and i'm a beat up dog with my ears chewed off
but I answer to the name of lucky
Don't confuse me with somebody hip
i'm the loosest cannon on this ship
and if you asked me how I got in this mess
i'd have to say just lucky I guess
And it's a long weird road and I never saw the face
of the driver of the truck that struck me
and i'm a beat up dog with my tail in a brace
but I answer to the name of Lucky
And if I knew the reason why
i wouldn't be in this place
the way they treat the help around here
is a lowdown doggone dirty disgrace
Don't go selling me no miracle cure
i've had all the comfort I can endure
but if you're buyin here's a deal you can't beat
a busted rainbow that i'm letting go cheap
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7. |
Passé
02:49
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News flash, honey
film at ten
we're over that rainbow
in kansas again
yesterday's done
the parade's gone by
and nobody cares what we do
but you and i
We're passé
we take the time to forget
our clothes aren't trendy but
we don't fret
baby we're so passé
We're passé
our gate is patient and slow
we cherish the world and we
let it go
terribly au passé
And the night and the stars
are ours, too good to refuse
a couple of friends
divested of trends
we choose
what we lose
We're passé
a state of freedom and grace
without any need for a
pretty face
face it we're tré passé
And the night and the stars
are ours a kingdom so vast
a couple of chums
content with what comes
the past
doesn't last
We're passé
retired resigned but not sad
for all we've been thru
we ain't half bad
despite remarks from some
Undergrad
who only wishes for
what we've had
darling we're so passé
but I wouldn't have it
any other way
Newsflash, honey…
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8. |
Get Old!
03:28
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Looked in the mirror and what did I see
A double-chin geezer leering at me
I said hey you, bald fat and farty
I don't recall inviting you to the party
Get old — There's nothing to it
Get old — You're gonna do it
Get old — it's what happens when you live
And it ain't so bad if you consider the alternative
I seen my buddy and he turned blue
he said my gawd boy what happened to you
I said it's normal so don't be perplexed
but it's going round son, you could be next
Get old — hey I enjoyed it
Get old — you can't avoid it
Get old — you better find a higher purpose
Or you can help reduced the population surplus
Cars and guitars and rock n roll stars
entropy squashes em all
Take a little ride on the arrow of time
But don't fly higher than you're willing to fall
(ooh shakin all over)
Everything gets old child it just makes you sick
But I didn't figure on it happening this quick
It keeps me running, too busy to scratch
Ever since 50 it's been patch patch patch
I got old — just like Ulysses
Get old — it ain't for sissies
Get old — you better love that withered visage
Just think of all the folks who never got the privledge
Get old — it's gonna getcha
Get old — I'm gonna betcha
Get old — it's what happens when you live
And it ain't so bad if you consider the alternative
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9. |
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When I was young and stupid
Trying to grow a brain
Trouble came pouring down on me
Just like a shower of rain
But now that I’m old and stupid
Strange to say
Trouble just shakes its head
And walks away
Max maxed out his visa
Sonya overstayed hers
Charlie’s truck
Was plain bad luck
Eddies was even worse
My pal dale
Has a brother in jail
Johnny lost his front door key
Dory and Doris
Just got a divorce
Everyone’s in trouble but me
What did I do to stay out of trouble
Nothing that’s what I did
While everybody else
Went looking for trouble
When trouble came knocking
I ran and hid
Annie had a baby
Fido got rabies
Fluffy got stuck in a tree
Sweet Beatrix
Got doxed by her ex
Everyone’s in trouble but me
What did I do to stay out of trouble?
Trouble never left me alone
While everybody else
Was asking for trouble
When trouble came calling
I hung up the phone
Vicky got evicted
Dickie got addicted
Tonto got a wounded knee
Poor old Gus
Walked in front of a bus
Everyone’s in trouble but me
Don’t know how I do it
But I always muddle through it
Don’t know how I swing it
But I always seem to wing it
Don’t know how I pull it
But I always dodge the bullet
Everyone’s in trouble
I’m living in a bubble
Everyone’s in trouble but me
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10. |
If Dogs Could Only Speak
02:36
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With all the troubles in the world today
if dogs could only speak i'm sure they'd say
Let's sniff butts and be friendly
it's so lonely being alone
we can roll over together
help each other bury a bone
life's too short to be snarly
just a short walk til it ends
let's not waste it
pick a stick and chase it
let's sniff butts and be friends
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11. |
Look Like You Sound
02:51
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Little old man
On the corner of the square
Layin down tunes
For the people out there
Raking it in from the hoi polloi
I asked him how he did it
He said listen up boy
Here’s a word of advice
You can have it for free
People only hear what they can see
You gotta look like you sound
Sing like you play
Walk like you talk
If you’re gonna make it pay
You gotta know where you been
Be who you are
Do what you do
Or you won’t get far
That little old man
He looked pretty weird
With his beat up fedora
And his Santyclaus beard
He didn’t take no requests
He just did his thing
And the people lined up
Just to hear him sing
He said it ain’t no mystery
How to make a show
You just take what you got
And you let it roll (ch)
And if you ever start wondering
Which clothes to wear
Just take a word of advice
From that man on the square (ch
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12. |
In Your Dreams
01:59
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Your books will always balance
you'll find your psychic talents
and pick the winning teams
in your dreams
Your hopes will never wither
You'll learn to play the zither
and sing like the Supremes
in your dreams
And when you swim an ocean, that ocean won't be wet
The waves will bear you bravely up
you bet
you bet
No Fears will be your motto
You'll win the big state lotto
and score on all your schemes
in your dreams
And when the light of morning comes stealing thru your eyes
you'll have to face reality
surprise
surprise
But though there's death and taxes
by night your heart relaxes
It's better than it seems
in your dreams
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Thaddeus Spae Seattle, Washington
A 40-year veteran of the Folk Wars, Thaddeus Spae has played venues from Tipitina's to the EMP. He's an award-winning songwriter whose works range from quirky to literate, guardedly sentimental to outraged and sarcastic, performed on a panoply of instruments acoustic and electric, in a profligate variety of styles encompassing folk, hard rock, jazz, blues, electronic and more. Website: tspae.com. ... more
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