Hey Kids! It's Uncle Pappy's Fun Time!

by Uncle Pappy

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1.
03:02
Have Fun Now It’s better than being bored Fun is Fun for everyone Fun is its own reward Have Fun Now Take these words to heart If you’re not having Fun right now When are you going to start? OHHH Have Fun Now... Have Fun Now It’s all up to you But save some Fun for later on And you’ll have More Fun too! OHHH Have More Fun... Have Fun Now Have Fun every day But if you don’t have no Fun to have Have Fun Anyway OHHH Have Fun Anyway...
2.
If you are in the kitchen And there’s cookies on the shelf DON’T JUST CLIMB UP AND GRAB ONE You can’t just help yourself (What’s the magic word?) Please please please please Pretty please with lettuce and cheese Don’t make me get down on my knees Please please please please please If you are in the grocery And you want a candy bar YOU’D BETTER NOT START WHINING Remember where you are (What’s the magic word?) Please please please please Give it to me now before I sneeze Better do it or I’ll give you fleas Please please please please please If you are watching tv And it’s time to go to bed YOUR PArents might not like it If you wanna stay up instead (What’s the magic word?) NO! No no no no You can’t watch another show Get in your jammies hurry up go No no no no no no no no NO NO NO NO NO!
3.
(Ch) When I got nothing to do I sit around and stew Wishin’ I could do something But I still do nothing When I got nothing to do No matter what I do I still do nothing And there’s nothing I can do I need something to do Something to help me make it thru Something to amuse me Something to confuse me Something to distract me From my mental boogaloo (Ch) When I got something to do I stick to that something Just like glue My fortune is accruing When I know what I’m doing And when I an’t got something I haven’t got a clue (Ch) Sometimes something isn’t fun And I want to turn around and run But I would rather do it Than feel like I just blew it It’s harder to start over Than just to get it done (Ch)
4.
Digging a hole is easy Easiest thing around You just pick up a shovel And you shove it right in the ground And when you get the dirt out You’ve got room enough To make buried treasure Out of just about any old stuff YEAH! What can we bury (3x) Down in the bottom of the hole? (see Daddy’s car keys?) Daddy keeps his car keys All safe and close at hand But if we only borrow them I’m sure he’ll understand And if we bury them in the ground Before this moment’s past Daddy’ll get a chance to use That metal detector at last! COOL! What else can we bury (3x) Down in the bottom of the hole? (see Granny’s false teeth?) Granny keeps her false teeth In a jar at the head of the bed But she doesn’t even notice When they’re not in her head And if we bury them in the ground for a thousand years or two Stupid old archeologists Won’t even have a clue! WOW! What else can we bury... (see Mommy’s iphone?) Mommy’s Apple iphone It is her joy and pride Everything she needs to know Is right there safe inside But she doesn’t have a backup And we really think she should Maybe we can grow an apple tree If we water it really good! SWEET! What else can we bury... (oh no!) Here comes little sister She’s always sneaking around She’s been watching us kyping stuff and hiding it in the ground She’s gonna run tell Mommy And spoil all our fun... WHAT ELSE CAN WE BURY WHAT ELSE CAN WE BURY WHAT ELSE CAN WE BURY DOWN IN THE BOTTOM OF THE HOLE?
5.
Six free adorable kittens Ready to run and play Six free adorable kittens Take on home today This one’s name is Scrappy And Scrappy is his name And this one’s name is One Ear And Scrappy is to blame! OH Six free adorable kittens Kittens all over the floor Six free adorable kittens Don’t want these kittens no more Ollie’s very skinny and Ozzie’s very fat And Gertie likes to play with hampsters But let’s not talk about that OH Six free adorable kittens Kittens from wall to wall Six free adorable kittens Don’t want these kittens at all This one’s name is Ugly And he’s all gray and drab and if nobody loves him He’s going to the lab OH Six free adorable kittens Ready to run and play Six free adorable kittens Take these kittens away!
6.
02:11
(Ch) Let’s go to the landfill C’mon down to the landfill Everybody’s going to the landfill Won’t it be fun! There’s lost toys in the landfill Lotsa noise in the landfill Girls and boys in the landfill Won’t it be fun! There’s broken clocks in the landfill Orphan socks in the landfill Keyless locks in the landfill Won’t it be fun! (Ch) There’s dead trees in the landfill Poisoned fleas in the landfill Massacrees in the landfill Won’t it be fun! There’s flat tires in the landfill Burnt out wires in the landfill Muck and mires in the landfill Won’t it be fun! (Ch) There’s empty jars in the landfill Cracked guitars in the landfill Movie stars in the landfill Won’t it be fun! There’s so much waste in the landfill All over the place in the landfill There’s no more space in the landfill Won’t it be fun! (ch)
7.
I woke up at 3 am I had to take a pee I tried to lie down and go back to sleep But it was not to be My brain had lots of stuff to say A big soliliquy It kept me up til half past six And this is what it said to me Blah blah blah said my brainy brainy brain Blah blah blah blah blee Blah blah blah blah blabber blabber bloo Said my brainy brainy brain to me I got up and combed my hair I stared at the kitchen wall I went to school and sat in my chair But I couldn’t think at all My brain had used up all its words To talk to me all night And then the teacher called on me To stand up and recite Duh duh duh Said my brainy brainy brain Duh duh duh dee dway Duh duh Duh duh dunny dunny bleh Said my brainy brainy brain all day If brains are supposed To be so smart Then why is mine so dumb? It sleeps all day and it blabs all night How come how come how come? I came home and did my chores I went to watch tv But now my brain was all worn out And this is what it said to me ZZZZZZZZ Said my brainy brainy brain ZZZZ ZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZ ZZZZ ZZZ g’night
8.
Well he was just a little lizard Stuffing his gizzard Down South America way They put him on a chain And threw him on a plane And took him to the US of A And he was presented As a Christmas present Just a little bit later But little did they know That he would grow to be THE GREENLAKE GATER! Well they kept him In his alligator skin Til he grew just a little too big Then they said “Oh maybe He’ll go and eat the baby” And they went and took and Threw him in the drink They threw him in the lake And he started to shake In the cold of streams from glaciers And many a duck Was dragged to the muck In the jaws of THE GREENLAKE GATER! Cold blooded or not He terrorized the flock That wintered by Greenlake And no matter who seed it Nobody believed it Everybody said it was a fake And by a lakefront restaurant A pretty lady asked a waiter “Is this Disneyland?” And he said “No ma’m, you’ve just seen THE GREENLAKE GATER!” They put in a call To Animal Control There was noone else to turn to And they said “What laymen, It’s really a cayman!” And they took him away to the zoo So just stay awake While you’re sitting by the lake Reading your morning paper Don’t be surprised To see a log with eyes It could be THE GREENLAKE GATER!
9.
Happy happy happy happy Birthday to you! Happy happy happy happy Birthday to you! Stand right up and take a bow You’re a whole year older now Happy happy happy happy Birthday to you! Happy happy happy happy Birthday to you! (2x) Feel your birthday’s awesome essence Rip the wrappings off your presents Happy happy happy happy Birthday to you! Happy happy happy happy Birthday to you! (2x) Count the years and get a thrill From here out it’’s all downhill Happy happy happy happy Birthday to you!
10.
With all the trouble In the world today If dogs could only speak I’m sure they’d say Let’s sniff butts and be friendly It’s so lonely being alone We could roll over together Help each other bury a bone Life’s too short to be snarly Just a short walk til it ends Let’s not waste it Pick a stick and chase it Let’s sniff butts and be friends!
11.
One kid’s funny is another kid’s mean One kid’s chuckle is Another kid’s scream One kid’s uncle is another kid’s dad And one kid’s funny Is another kid’s BAD If you call up strangers In the middle of the night THAT’S NOT FUNNY If you tie Mommy’s bra To the tail of your kite THAT’S NOT FUNNY If you put bubble gum In your best friend’s hat If you set off a firecracker Under the cat If you hack your sister’s genome And make her get fat THAT’S NOT FUNNY AT ALL Cause one kid’s funny Is another kid’s mean One kid’s chuckle Is another kid’s scream One kid’s nickle is another kid’s dime And one kid’s funny Is another kid’s WASTE OF TIME If you bring a rotten egg To show and tell THAT’S NOT FUNNY If you drop it on the floor And say “What’s that smell?” THAT’S NOT FUNNY If you put your pet frog In your Cream o’ Wheat If you put DEAD BIRD On the girl down the street If you find Daddy’s tax return And press “Delete” THAT’S NOT FUNNY AT ALL Cause one kid’s funny Is another kid’s mean One kid’s chuckle Is another kid’s scream One kid’s finger is another kid’s thumb And one kid’s funny Is another kid’s DUMB If you tell little brother He can walk on air THAT’S NOT FUNNY If you put a whoopie cushion On the Principal’s chair THAT’S NOT FUNNY If you throw spit balls at the TV screen If you feed your gerbil a jumping bean If you screw up the past With a time machine THAT’S NOT FUNNY AT ALL Cause one kid’s funny Is another kid’s mean One kid’s chuckle Is another kid’s scream One kid’s whistle Is another kid’s song And one kid’s funny Is another kid’s WRONG
12.
If you wanna get along You better listen to this song Good or bad or right or wrong Just eat what’s put before you Your mama told you when You were only 8 or 10 Sat you in your chair and then She said eat what’s put before you Now don’t you go complaining Or acting doublecrossed You ain't the one who fixed it You don’t know how much it cost Make a smile out of your frown Turn that sad face upside down Be a happy circus clown And eat what’s put before you Now if you feel neglected By the portion on your plate Recall those kids in China And commence to masticate As your life goes rolling by You will be served some humble pie Look that cook right in the eye And eat what’s put before you Don’t ask how or what or why Just eat what’s put before you Mark that message “NO REPLY” And eat what’s put before you
13.
02:32
Santa has a reputation For spreading Christmas cheer He might give out presents But that’s just once a year Santa he ain’t your buddy He don’t like you one bit Cause if you’re not good And do what you should Santa’s gonna give you COAL COAL USEFUL COAL DUG FROM THE BOTTOM OF A BIG BLACK HOLE FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH DINOSAUR SOUL SANTA’S GOT LOTS OF COAL People always chat up Santa Like he’s some big fat saint But he’s always checking That list of his To see if you’re good or you ain’t Now you might try to be perfect But you might just as well quit Cause if you’re a dunce Even once Santa’s gonna bring you COAL COAL SOLID OIL BTU’S FROM BITUMINOUS SOIL BRINGS THE KETTLE TO A LOVELY BOIL EVERYONE NEEDS MORE COAL Santa doesn’t get much exercise He doesn’t watch his weight so well He’s bee scarfing up So many goodies That he’s let his figure go To Merry Christmas (Ho ho ho, ha ha ha, hee hee hee BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!) Santa he’s always watching No matter where you might be He’s got little elves everywhere Spying on you and me He’s got all of your vitals Right in his furry mitt So if you take a break To make a mistake Santa’s gonna bring you COAL COAL ANTHRACITE DUG FROM THE DARK TO BRING US LIGHT KEEPS US WARM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT YOU COULD DO WORSE THAN COAL EVERYONE NEEDS MORE COAL SANTA’S GOT LOTS OF COAL COAL COAL COAL COAL COAL COAL COAL COAL
14.
01:53
If the temperature is 10 below And you got to go to school And the busstop is a mile away And the wind is cold and cruel And your overshoes are full of holes And you don’t wanna go Remember what your mommy said As you trudge through the snow (Ch) You’re building character You’re building character And you’ll be a better person In the end, in the end You’re building character You’re building character And you’ll be a better person In the end If your brother comes And beats you up And breaks your favorite toy If he rats you out to Mommy Cause you’ve been a naughty boy If he ties you to an anthill And then pours honey on Don’t fuss and fight Just let ‘em bite Until your brother’s gone (Ch) If you gotta take the trash out If you gotta mow the yard If you gotta do the dishes If you gotta wash the car If you gotta walk the schnauzer If you gotta clean the sink Don’t get upset It’s tough you bet But it’s better than you think (Ch) (and you’ll be a better person in the end) THE END!!!

about

Presenting Uncle Pappy's Fun Time, a real swell collection of fun little songs for funny little folks of all ages, gages and persuasions! Just pop that inner child out of the dungeon and let them sing along with all time classics like "The Fun Song," "The Magic Word" and "Let's Go To The Landfill!"

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released January 1, 2018

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Thaddeus Spae Seattle, Washington

A 40-year veteran of the Folk Wars, Thaddeus Spae has played venues from Tipitina's to the EMP. He's an award-winning songwriter whose works range from quirky to literate, guardedly sentimental to outraged and sarcastic, performed on a panoply of instruments acoustic and electric, in a profligate variety of styles encompassing folk, hard rock, jazz, blues, electronic and more. Website: tspae.com. ... more

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