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lyrics

Santa has a reputation
For spreading Christmas cheer
He might give out presents
But that’s just once a year
Santa he ain’t your buddy
He don’t like you one bit
Cause if you’re not good
And do what you should
Santa’s gonna give you
COAL COAL
USEFUL COAL
DUG FROM THE BOTTOM
OF A BIG BLACK HOLE
FILLED TO THE BRIM
WITH DINOSAUR SOUL
SANTA’S GOT LOTS OF COAL

People always chat up Santa
Like he’s some big fat saint
But he’s always checking
That list of his
To see if you’re good or you ain’t
Now you might try to be perfect
But you might just as well quit
Cause if you’re a dunce
Even once
Santa’s gonna bring you
COAL COAL SOLID OIL
BTU’S FROM
BITUMINOUS SOIL
BRINGS THE KETTLE
TO A LOVELY BOIL
EVERYONE NEEDS MORE COAL

Santa doesn’t get much exercise
He doesn’t watch his weight
so well
He’s bee scarfing up
So many goodies
That he’s let his figure go
To Merry Christmas

(Ho ho ho, ha ha ha, hee hee hee
BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

Santa he’s always watching
No matter where you might be
He’s got little elves everywhere
Spying on you and me
He’s got all of your vitals
Right in his furry mitt
So if you take a break
To make a mistake
Santa’s gonna bring you
COAL COAL ANTHRACITE
DUG FROM THE DARK
TO BRING US LIGHT
KEEPS US WARM IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
YOU COULD DO WORSE
THAN COAL
EVERYONE NEEDS MORE COAL
SANTA’S GOT LOTS OF
COAL COAL COAL COAL
COAL COAL COAL COAL
COAL

credits

from Hey Kids! It's Uncle Pappy's Fun Time!, released January 1, 2018
With Arnie Filucie: guitar, vocals and Red Filucie: bass, vocals

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Thaddeus Spae Seattle, Washington

A 40-year veteran of the Folk Wars, Thaddeus Spae has played venues from Tipitina's to the EMP. He's an award-winning songwriter whose works range from quirky to literate, guardedly sentimental to outraged and sarcastic, performed on a panoply of instruments acoustic and electric, in a profligate variety of styles encompassing folk, hard rock, jazz, blues, electronic and more. Website: tspae.com. ... more

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