So Farther, So Gooder (Vol. 1)

by Thaddeus Spae

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1.
01:04
2.
05:12
Around my house i'm known as Mister Fixit and mister, fixit is what i do around my house i'm known as Mister Fixit and Mister Fixit, he always comes through If your bathtub springs a leak if your front porch is getting weak never mind don't peak n freak call for Mister Fixit if your tv's on the blink if you can't unclog your sink well it's later than you think call for Mister Fixit Around my house i'm known as Mister Fixit and mister, fixit is my name around my house i'm known as Mister Fixit and mister, fixing is my claim to fame If your yard's a living wreck if your basement shows neglect doncha take it in the neck call for Mister Fixit if the lights blink off and on if the back door knob is gone if there's dog poop on the lawn don't look at me! Around my house i'm known as Mister Fixit and mister, i can fix it all around my house i'm know as Mister Fixit and Mister Fixit's he's always on the ball If your toaster doesn't toast if your floor gives up the ghost if you need some help the most call for Mister Fixit if Your boyfriend treats you rough won't give you none of that good stuff if you've had just about enough call for Mister Fixit
3.
Saw a babe on Broadway styling all the rage she was minding her business I was feeling my age I'm old enough to know better older than I've ever been I thought I was over my midlife crisis But here it comes again I don't watch leno don't dig his show I drive a car like my daddy had half a lifetime ago I used to hate what he stood for but now I look just like him I thought I was over my midlife crisis But here it comes again I got no compunctions at my ambiguity all my good old buddies turned out twice as ugly as me There's a part that's still 18 somewhere inside of me but all of the rest of my body is outta warranty and when I look in the mirror all I can see is my skin I thought I was over my midlife crisis but here it comes again
4.
02:37
I can't bite into a redhot out at the park in the shade ketchup and mustard don't help me i know how sausage is made I back away from salami fresh from the circular blade no kielbasa or bloodwurst i know how sausage is made I've seen the grinder i've seen the skin i've seen the plunger stuffing the stuffing on in You can keep your chorizo your baloney parade i'll stick with my tea and crumpets i know how sausage is made I've seen the chimney i've seen the plume i've seen the butcher herding the herd to their doom Don't bring a braunschweiger sandwich if you want to get paid just keep those carrot sticks coming i know how sausage is made
5.
03:01
Have fun now it's better than being bored fun is fun for everyone fun is its own reward Have fun now take these words to heart if you aren't having fun right now when are you gonna start? Oh have fun now (etc) Have fun now it's all up to you but save some fun for later on and you'll have more fun too Oh have more fun (etc) Have fun now have fun every day but if you don't have no fun to have have fun anyway Oh have fun anyway (etc)
6.
03:31
We are your friends and besides we've got you on the green screen the fun never ends and besides we've got you on the green screen everything's cool and besides we've got you on the green screen a car and a pool and besides we've got you on the green screen No need to fear and besides we've got you on the green screen your record is clear and besides we've got you on the green screen you can't get away and besides we've got you on the green screen we're raising your pay and besides we've got you on the green screen
7.
There's a stranger before you right in front of your eyes I pass among you unnoticed in my clever human being disguise Don't look me over too closely you might just get a surprise you wouldn't like what you'd see behind my clever human being disguise I only hope you appreciate the pains that I take to please and not inflict too much ugly truth on your trembling sensibilities So sleep the sleep of the righteous and dwell on comfortable lies and just ignore me as I creep past in my clever human being disguise If you should get too inquisitive be careful you could be prone to catch a fleeting glimpse of yourself wearing a mask of your own Don't be too quick to dismiss me to disparage disdain or despise I'm not the only one walking around in a clever human being disguise
8.
Monday morning like a cliff on your head pound in a piton rappel out of bed yeah it's possible tuesday cleanup hit that rat with a broom wednesday chase the elephant outta the room it's possible Ch: We do what we gotta do with what we got to do it it's the art of the possible we cut a few corners just to get around to it it's the art of the possible Thursday you take her for coffee and then friday ask can i see you again she says it's possible saturday swingin like a gate on a fence never knew good times could be so intense it's possible (ch) Sunday services try to stay awake after the lesson there'll be coffee and cake it's possible (ch)
9.
03:16
I won't sing anymore when I'm dead I won't sing anymore when I'm dead I won't sing anymore when I'm dead and in the ground so I'll have to do my singing here and now here and now here and now here and now I won't laugh anymore ... I won't pray anymore...
10.
Darwin’s Lament — Ain’t no swinger, can’t hang around My brachiating appendages don’t reach to the ground I shamble around upright in these civilized shoes I’m just an ape with the blues Can’t challenge the Alpha, he lives overseas Can’t groom my mate, she ain’t got no fleas Can’t run my business with body language cues I’m just an ape with the blues No native habitat, got to compete No fangs to bare, barely any chest to beat Can’t fight worth diddly, just too weak I’m a revolutionary evolutionary freak Bald all over, chilly at night No instinctive ethos gotta learn to act polite Can’t talk to Creationists, they don’t share my views I’m just an ape with the blues If I was a donkey I could kick some ass If I was a sheep I could bleat and eat grass If I was an amoeba I wouldn’t feel no pain But no! I had to be a primate with an overstuffed brain Sweating in this city, junked out on machines Dreamin at night of those arboreal scenes Can’t shed this monkey suit, I ain’t paid my dues I’m just an ape There’s no escape I’m up to my nape cause I’m just an ape with the blues Lookin for My Tribe — Well who’s that fellow standin there in his leopard skin underwear painted body tangled hair bone in his nose and a ring in his ear in his hand a long sharp spear on his face a look of fear say who’s that fellow standin there (Just shut up and we might hear) I’m ramblin through the jungle I got no place to hide I’m just a fidgety aborigine lookin for my tribe I might find a brighter future as a pharisee or scribe but I’m much too wise to civilize I’m lookin for my tribe The boa constrictor sees the picture in the struggle he’s the victor he says don’t be chicken, squeeze your victim learn to hiss and you’ll feel bliss They pass me up that bloody cup but I cannot imbibe that scaly smile it ain’t my style I’m lookin for my tribe The elephant is so pedantic disagree and he grows frantic he begs to differ quoting scripture then after that he’ll stomp you flat And the monkeys throw bananas but I can’t take no bribe They can keep their tree it’s not for me I’m lookin for my tribe
11.
NEW BALL AND CHAIN Well I walked past hardware store yesterday could not believe what they had to say they said c’mover here boy don’t be shy we got the latest thing give it a try C’mere boy n getcherself a ball n chain They had fullpage ads in the evening news and thirty second spots on the radio too they had every billboard they could get and every time I walk past a tv set They were reachin out to fit me with a ball n chain They got family discounts if you want it they’ll give you term insurance on it they got eight designer colors And if that ain’t enough you can get your initials engraved Right on the cuff I went back home and went to bed tried to put the whole thing outta my head but late at night deep in my dreams I hear the clanking and I hear the screams They say look out boy they’re comin with your ball n chain
12.
The sands of time fall into the ocean the leaves and the rain and the shadows fall felled by the hand of cruel dame fortune death makes mock of us all The churl in the field and the lord in his manor the private at arms and the knight with his banner the babe in the woods and the king in his grandeur death makes mock of us all the maid at her mirror inspecting her beauty the mother whose child is loved so acutely the crone in her wisdom freed from all duty death makes mock of us all The hawk hunting high and the mousie that cowers the snake in the grass and the oak tree that towers the deep seeking whale in the sea's hidden bowers death makes mock of us all the sun and the moon and the bright constellations the earth and the sky and all manifestations the thoughts and the words and the signs and notations death makes mock of us all The children may cry but their cries go unheeded the lovers they laugh but their laugh is defeated the old run to hide but their fate is repeated death makes mock of us all and you in your pride in your arts and your letters praising your talents and cursing your fetters walk gently among all your lessors and betters death makes mock of us all
13.
The little old lady sat next to the stage where the eminent mathematician and sage Revealed how the universe, age after age, had advanced to its present location And she said to him sir you are on the wrong track The whole world rests on the Great Turtle's back The speaker replied to this scathing attack Pray what is the turtle's foundation? She said sonny don't pull out that cheap sophistry You may fool all the others but you can't fool me It's Turtles All The Way Down sir It's turtles all the way down Oh you're very smart but I know in my heart that it's turtles all the way down The Christians the Jews and the Muslims They base their beliefs on their book They all stand up and quote em and tell you God wrote em And say that the others got took The Hindus have gods by the millions Each with their own ritual and shrine When offerings come due They all stand in a queue Til they get to the head of the line (ch) The Shintos keep trying to trademark "The Isle of the Gods" in their name but the Balinese skip off and call it a rip off And file a previous claim The Taoists divide down the middle with yang always balancing yin But don't ever mention the camera's invention cause gray scale gets under their skin (ch) And let's not even start on the Romans They're not on the ball you can tell With Romulus and Remus and Mars shtupping Venus no wonder their empire fell And you who are rational realists convinced that your vision is clear you'd better think through it cause when it comes to it can you even prove that you're here? (ch)
14.
All you daydream dancers with all the answers don't bother calling me anymore and you uptight religious spouters of gibbrish try to keep it down to a roar you're gonna have to find your own way to make it cross the great divide I'm gonna take a little dive through that tunnel of light and party on the other side All you reckless purveyers and drug soothsayers go find another market to test and you curvacious cuties with your bodacious booties honey give it a rest you're welcome to the realm of the senses it's just another place to hide I'm gonna catch a fast freight through that tunnel of light and party on the other side Hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry don't be slow cmon cmon cmon doncha know we all gotta go All you lame excuses for busted cabooses drop off the gravy train and you cactus huggers and reality muggers don't even try to explain it's so easy to point your finger but it's hard to figure out who lied I'm gonna hop the red eye through that tunnel of light and party on the other side
15.
Get it right the first time get it right the first time don't stop don't wait don't hesitate just get it right the first time Get it right the first time get it right the first time don't mess around on shakey ground just get it right the first time Little david never quit even a bit when he slew goliath's might and ray davies raved to his brother dave play it bleedin right Get it right the first time get it right the first time it goes by quick so get on the stick, slick and get it right the first time Get it right the first time get it right the first time if you can't float don't miss the boat get it right the first time Get it right the first time get it right the first time There's no undo on this menu just get it right the first time Christopher columbus set out to seek n find he found the east indies right away or was it the west indies? Never mind! Get it right the first time get it right the first time Swing it lad or you'll wish you had just get it right the first time You get one try and that's it guy you get one crack and that's it jack you get onc chance and that's it lance you get one go and that's it joe you only get one and then you're done son so get it right the first time

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40-year retrospective of Thaddeus Spae's motley and haphazard musical career. Songs, instrumentals, peculiarities and spoken word taken from released albums and backroom archives.

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released September 15, 2016

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Thaddeus Spae Seattle, Washington

A 40-year veteran of the Folk Wars, Thaddeus Spae has played venues from Tipitina's to the EMP. He's an award-winning songwriter whose works range from quirky to literate, guardedly sentimental to outraged and sarcastic, performed on a panoply of instruments acoustic and electric, in a profligate variety of styles encompassing folk, hard rock, jazz, blues, electronic and more. Website: tspae.com. ... more

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