1. |
Rush
01:04
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2. |
Mister Fixit
05:12
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Around my house i'm known as Mister Fixit
and mister, fixit is what i do
around my house i'm known as Mister Fixit
and Mister Fixit, he always comes through
If your bathtub springs a leak
if your front porch is getting weak
never mind don't peak n freak
call for Mister Fixit
if your tv's on the blink
if you can't unclog your sink
well it's later than you think
call for Mister Fixit
Around my house i'm known as Mister Fixit
and mister, fixit is my name
around my house i'm known as Mister Fixit
and mister, fixing is my claim to fame
If your yard's a living wreck
if your basement shows neglect
doncha take it in the neck
call for Mister Fixit
if the lights blink off and on
if the back door knob is gone
if there's dog poop on the lawn
don't look at me!
Around my house i'm known as Mister Fixit
and mister, i can fix it all
around my house i'm know as Mister Fixit
and Mister Fixit's he's always on the ball
If your toaster doesn't toast
if your floor gives up the ghost
if you need some help the most
call for Mister Fixit
if Your boyfriend treats you rough
won't give you none of that good stuff
if you've had just about enough
call for Mister Fixit
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3. |
My Midlife Crisis
02:20
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Saw a babe on Broadway
styling all the rage
she was minding her business
I was feeling my age
I'm old enough to know better
older than I've ever been
I thought I was over my midlife crisis
But here it comes again
I don't watch leno
don't dig his show
I drive a car like my daddy had
half a lifetime ago
I used to hate what he stood for
but now I look just like him
I thought I was over my midlife crisis
But here it comes again
I got no compunctions
at my ambiguity
all my good old buddies turned out
twice as ugly as me
There's a part that's still 18
somewhere inside of me
but all of the rest of my body
is outta warranty
and when I look in the mirror
all I can see is my skin
I thought I was over my midlife crisis
but here it comes again
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4. |
Sausage
02:37
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I can't bite into a redhot
out at the park in the shade
ketchup and mustard don't help me
i know how sausage is made
I back away from salami
fresh from the circular blade
no kielbasa or bloodwurst
i know how sausage is made
I've seen the grinder
i've seen the skin
i've seen the plunger
stuffing the stuffing on in
You can keep your chorizo
your baloney parade
i'll stick with my tea and crumpets
i know how sausage is made
I've seen the chimney
i've seen the plume
i've seen the butcher
herding the herd to their doom
Don't bring a braunschweiger sandwich
if you want to get paid
just keep those carrot sticks coming
i know how sausage is made
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5. |
Fun
03:01
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Have fun now
it's better than being bored
fun is fun for everyone
fun is its own reward
Have fun now
take these words to heart
if you aren't having fun right now
when are you gonna start?
Oh have fun now (etc)
Have fun now
it's all up to you
but save some fun for later on
and you'll have more fun too
Oh have more fun (etc)
Have fun now
have fun every day
but if you don't have no fun to have
have fun anyway
Oh have fun anyway (etc)
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6. |
Green Screen
03:31
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We are your friends
and besides
we've got you on the green screen
the fun never ends
and besides
we've got you on the green screen
everything's cool
and besides
we've got you on the green screen
a car and a pool
and besides
we've got you on the green screen
No need to fear
and besides
we've got you on the green screen
your record is clear
and besides
we've got you on the green screen
you can't get away
and besides
we've got you on the green screen
we're raising your pay
and besides
we've got you on the green screen
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7. |
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There's a stranger before you
right in front of your eyes
I pass among you unnoticed
in my clever human being disguise
Don't look me over too closely
you might just get a surprise
you wouldn't like what you'd see behind
my clever human being disguise
I only hope you appreciate
the pains that I take to please
and not inflict too much ugly truth
on your trembling sensibilities
So sleep the sleep of the righteous
and dwell on comfortable lies
and just ignore me as I creep past
in my clever human being disguise
If you should get too inquisitive
be careful you could be prone
to catch a fleeting glimpse of yourself
wearing a mask of your own
Don't be too quick to dismiss me
to disparage disdain or despise
I'm not the only one walking around
in a clever human being disguise
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8. |
The Art Of The Possible
04:55
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Monday morning like a cliff on your head
pound in a piton rappel out of bed
yeah it's possible
tuesday cleanup hit that rat with a broom
wednesday chase the elephant outta the room
it's possible
Ch: We do what we gotta do with what we got to do it
it's the art of the possible
we cut a few corners just to get around to it
it's the art of the possible
Thursday you take her for coffee and then
friday ask can i see you again
she says it's possible
saturday swingin like a gate on a fence
never knew good times could be so intense
it's possible (ch)
Sunday services try to stay awake
after the lesson there'll be coffee and cake
it's possible (ch)
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9. |
Here And Now
03:16
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I won't sing anymore when I'm dead
I won't sing anymore when I'm dead
I won't sing anymore when I'm dead and in the ground
so I'll have to do my singing
here and now
here and now
here and now
here and now
I won't laugh anymore ...
I won't pray anymore...
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10. |
Evolution Medley
06:14
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Darwin’s Lament —
Ain’t no swinger, can’t hang around
My brachiating appendages
don’t reach to the ground
I shamble around upright in these civilized shoes
I’m just an ape with the blues
Can’t challenge the Alpha, he lives overseas
Can’t groom my mate, she ain’t got no fleas
Can’t run my business with body language cues I’m just an ape with the blues
No native habitat, got to compete
No fangs to bare, barely any chest to beat
Can’t fight worth diddly, just too weak
I’m a revolutionary evolutionary freak
Bald all over, chilly at night
No instinctive ethos gotta learn to act polite
Can’t talk to Creationists, they don’t share my views I’m just an ape with the blues
If I was a donkey I could kick some ass
If I was a sheep I could bleat and eat grass
If I was an amoeba I wouldn’t feel no pain
But no! I had to be a primate
with an overstuffed brain
Sweating in this city, junked out on machines Dreamin at night of those arboreal scenes
Can’t shed this monkey suit, I ain’t paid my dues I’m just an ape
There’s no escape
I’m up to my nape
cause I’m just an ape with the blues
Lookin for My Tribe —
Well who’s that fellow standin there
in his leopard skin underwear
painted body tangled hair
bone in his nose and a ring in his ear
in his hand a long sharp spear
on his face a look of fear
say who’s that fellow standin there
(Just shut up and we might hear)
I’m ramblin through the jungle
I got no place to hide
I’m just a fidgety aborigine
lookin for my tribe
I might find a brighter future
as a pharisee or scribe
but I’m much too wise to civilize
I’m lookin for my tribe
The boa constrictor sees the picture
in the struggle he’s the victor
he says don’t be chicken,
squeeze your victim
learn to hiss and you’ll feel bliss
They pass me up that bloody cup
but I cannot imbibe
that scaly smile it ain’t my style
I’m lookin for my tribe
The elephant is so pedantic
disagree and he grows frantic
he begs to differ quoting scripture
then after that he’ll stomp you flat
And the monkeys throw bananas
but I can’t take no bribe
They can keep their tree
it’s not for me
I’m lookin for my tribe
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11. |
New Ball And Chain
03:19
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NEW BALL AND CHAIN
Well I walked past hardware store yesterday
could not believe what they had to say
they said c’mover here boy don’t be shy
we got the latest thing give it a try
C’mere boy n getcherself a ball n chain
They had fullpage ads in the evening news
and thirty second spots on the radio too
they had every billboard they could get
and every time I walk past a tv set
They were reachin out
to fit me with a ball n chain
They got family discounts if you want it
they’ll give you term insurance on it
they got eight designer colors
And if that ain’t enough
you can get your initials engraved
Right on the cuff
I went back home and went to bed
tried to put the whole thing outta my head
but late at night deep in my dreams
I hear the clanking and I hear the screams
They say look out boy
they’re comin with your ball n chain
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12. |
A Cheerful Song
04:27
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The sands of time fall into the ocean
the leaves and the rain and the shadows fall
felled by the hand of cruel dame fortune
death makes mock of us all
The churl in the field and the lord in his manor
the private at arms and the knight with his banner
the babe in the woods and the king in his grandeur
death makes mock of us all
the maid at her mirror inspecting her beauty
the mother whose child is loved so acutely
the crone in her wisdom freed from all duty
death makes mock of us all
The hawk hunting high and the mousie that cowers
the snake in the grass and the oak tree that towers
the deep seeking whale in the sea's hidden bowers
death makes mock of us all
the sun and the moon and the bright constellations
the earth and the sky and all manifestations
the thoughts and the words and the signs and notations
death makes mock of us all
The children may cry but their cries go unheeded
the lovers they laugh but their laugh is defeated
the old run to hide but their fate is repeated
death makes mock of us all
and you in your pride in your arts and your letters
praising your talents and cursing your fetters
walk gently among all your lessors and betters
death makes mock of us all
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13. |
Turtles All The Way Down
03:44
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The little old lady sat next to the stage
where the eminent mathematician and sage
Revealed how the universe, age after age,
had advanced to its present location
And she said to him sir you are on the wrong track
The whole world rests on the Great Turtle's back
The speaker replied to this scathing attack
Pray what is the turtle's foundation?
She said sonny don't pull out that cheap sophistry
You may fool all the others but you can't fool me
It's Turtles All The Way Down sir
It's turtles all the way down
Oh you're very smart
but I know in my heart
that it's turtles all the way down
The Christians the Jews and the Muslims
They base their beliefs on their book
They all stand up and quote em
and tell you God wrote em
And say that the others got took
The Hindus have gods by the millions
Each with their own ritual and shrine
When offerings come due
They all stand in a queue
Til they get to the head of the line (ch)
The Shintos keep trying to trademark
"The Isle of the Gods" in their name
but the Balinese skip off
and call it a rip off
And file a previous claim
The Taoists divide down the middle
with yang always balancing yin
But don't ever mention
the camera's invention
cause gray scale gets under their skin (ch)
And let's not even start on the Romans
They're not on the ball you can tell
With Romulus and Remus
and Mars shtupping Venus
no wonder their empire fell
And you who are rational realists
convinced that your vision is clear
you'd better think through it
cause when it comes to it
can you even prove that you're here? (ch)
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14. |
Tunnel Of Light
02:43
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All you daydream dancers
with all the answers
don't bother calling me anymore
and you uptight religious
spouters of gibbrish
try to keep it down to a roar
you're gonna have to find your own way
to make it cross the great divide
I'm gonna take a little dive through that tunnel of light
and party on the other side
All you reckless purveyers
and drug soothsayers
go find another market to test
and you curvacious cuties
with your bodacious booties
honey give it a rest
you're welcome to the realm of the senses
it's just another place to hide
I'm gonna catch a fast freight through that tunnel of light
and party on the other side
Hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry
don't be slow
cmon cmon cmon
doncha know we all gotta go
All you lame excuses
for busted cabooses
drop off the gravy train
and you cactus huggers
and reality muggers
don't even try to explain
it's so easy to point your finger
but it's hard to figure out who lied
I'm gonna hop the red eye through that tunnel of light
and party on the other side
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15. |
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Get it right the first time
get it right the first time
don't stop don't wait don't hesitate
just get it right the first time
Get it right the first time
get it right the first time
don't mess around on shakey ground
just get it right the first time
Little david never quit even a bit
when he slew goliath's might
and ray davies raved to his brother dave
play it bleedin right
Get it right the first time
get it right the first time
it goes by quick so get on the stick, slick
and get it right the first time
Get it right the first time
get it right the first time
if you can't float don't miss the boat
get it right the first time
Get it right the first time
get it right the first time
There's no undo on this menu
just get it right the first time
Christopher columbus
set out to seek n find
he found the east indies right away
or was it the west indies? Never mind!
Get it right the first time
get it right the first time
Swing it lad or you'll wish you had
just get it right the first time
You get one try and that's it guy
you get one crack and that's it jack
you get onc chance and that's it lance
you get one go and that's it joe
you only get one and then you're done son
so get it right the first time
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Thaddeus Spae Seattle, Washington
A 40-year veteran of the Folk Wars, Thaddeus Spae has played venues from Tipitina's to the EMP. He's an award-winning songwriter whose works range from quirky to literate, guardedly sentimental to outraged and sarcastic, performed on a panoply of instruments acoustic and electric, in a profligate variety of styles encompassing folk, hard rock, jazz, blues, electronic and more. Website: tspae.com. ... more
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