1. |
Whirlwind Romance
04:06
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I got down with the dipper
I went wild with the mouse
but I never knew
what a fun ride could do
til the twister hit my house
Ch: Whirlwind romance
strap in and hold on
stay for the romance
After the whirlwind's done
I got burned by the rocket
I just blew off the jet
But this here attraction
has got enough action
to be the fastest one yet (Ch)
I barely got through admissions
sweatin in line til you drop
but that A ticket sure paid its way
With that beautiful view from the top
I dunno how I got here
This sure ain't kansas dude
but here she comes walkin them ruby-red sneakers
her and her little dog too
I spun out on the roundup
weathered the hurricane
but after that big wheel
this tunnel of love'll feel
just a little bit tame (Ch)
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2. |
Big Fish
02:45
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He's a big fish
In a small pond
barely room to swim
but if you wanna go somewhere
you gotta go thru him
he's a big dog
in a small yard
he don't need to run
he'll just sit down and wait by the gate
until you come
He's an 800 pound gorilla
he's trouble on a pogo stick
like a blackberry vine
or a porcupine
he's got one good trick
He's a fat cat on the soft chair
he's got a velvet paw
but if you try to make him move
you'll get tooth and claw
He's a big rig hoggin the fast lane
takin the scenic route
squattin' like a toad
in the middle of the road
with his hand stuck out
He's a big fish
In a small pond
got a mighty thirst
but if you want it to get better
you better get him first
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3. |
The Possum
06:52
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Oh the solitary possum in her coat of whiteish gray
wandering the nighttime and sleeping through the day
pondering her purpose as she goes along her way
and marveling at the wonder of it all
I see her by the roadside as the night is coming out
the glimmer of her beady eyes the quiver of her snout
a peerin through the darkness and a snuffin of the air
and she knows the car is coming but she's too profound to care
Oh the solitary possum...
The possum's deep and subtle, you can see it in a glance
she stands on the macadam in a philosophic trance
with roarin menace bearing down she'll dream until she's done
unless she is persuaded to collect her thoughts and run
Oh the solitary possum...
I do not stare at headlights -- I'm a realistic man
and I can cross the road as well as any chicken can
and I could soar with eagles or so I would proclaim
but yet there's something in me of the possum just the same
Oh the solitary possum...
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4. |
Low Maintenance
04:36
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I wanna low maintenance girlfriend
who doesn't think she's the queen
who gives me a snuggle
instead of a struggle
and knows how to cook and clean
I wanna low maintenance girlfriend
one who's not a nervous wreck
who fixes her computers
and likes to go to hooters
and never lets me pay the check
And when she says good morning
she means good morning
not here comes a hissy fit
without any warning
and when she says good night
she means good night
not would you kindly
read my mind n
turn out the light
I wanna low maintenance girlfriend
sensible through and through
who's got a groovy ringtone
and doesn't lose her cellphone
then borrow mine and lose it too
I want a low maintenance boyfriend
one who never wears a frown
who washes all the dishes
and wipes up when he pishes
and always leaves
The toilet seat down
I want a low maintenance boyfriend
who never makes me feel annoyed
who doesn't need to chatter
or ask me what's the matter
or Think his name is sigmund freud
And when he says “hey cutie”
He means “hey cutie”
not “you'd be really swell
If you lost half of your bootie”
and a dinner date is a dinner date
not “would you like to supersize
With fries and a shake”
I want a low maintenance boyfriend
who understands that he's a king
who walks with a swagger
and never needs viagra
and doesn't care if i can't sing
I want a low maintenance lover
wicked good at being bad
who's ice-cool and red-hot
and sleeps on the wet spot
and tells me i'm the best they've had
I want a low maintenance partner
sane and solid all the time
who does what i'm expecting
and doesn't bounce their checking
or claim that they're from vega prime
And when they say i love you,
They mean I love you
not “you'll do til I find
a newer model of you”
and when they ask to stay
They really want to stay
not hang around and wear you down
And then run away
I wanna low maintenance
(boy/girl)friend
wild and crazy and free
who's wise beyond knowing
and doesn't mind going
with a high maintenance
Guy/gal like me
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5. |
Turtles All The Way Down
05:16
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The little old lady sat next to the stage
where the eminent mathematician and sage
Revealed how the universe, age after age,
had advanced to its present location
And she said to him sir you are on the wrong track
The whole world rests on the Great Turtle's back
The speaker replied to this scathing attack
Pray what is the turtle's foundation?
She said sonny don't pull out that cheap sophistry
You may fool all the others but you can't fool me
It's Turtles All The Way Down sir
It's turtles all the way down
Oh you're very smart
but I know in my heart
that it's turtles all the way down
The Christians the Jews and the Muslims
They base their beliefs on their book
They all stand up and quote em
and tell you God wrote em
And say that the others got took
The Hindus have gods by the millions
Each with their own ritual and shrine
When offerings come due
They all stand in a queue
Til they get to the head of the line (ch)
The Shintos keep trying to trademark
"The Isle of the Gods" in their name
but the Balinese skip off
and call it a rip off
And file a previous claim
The Taoists divide down the middle
with yang always balancing yin
But don't ever mention
the camera's invention
cause gray scale gets under their skin (ch)
And let's not even start on the Romans
They're not on the ball you can tell
With Romulus and Remus
and Mars shtupping Venus
no wonder their empire fell
And you who are rational realists
convinced that your vision is clear
you'd better think through it
cause when it comes to it
can you even prove that you're here? (ch)
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6. |
The Sum Of Our Parts
04:43
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On the surface we look simple
skin and hair and blush and dimple
inside it’s a solid mass of bone and muscle, blood and gut
in the cell’s secluded chasm
membranes circle cytoplasm
nucleus and mytochondria put in place by who knows what
But we are more than the sum of our parts
the sum of our parts
the sum of our parts
we are more than the sum of our parts
of our parts
of our parts
Take a bite of food in your mouth
chew it up and send it off south
through the tonsels past the palate round the gastronomic bend
stripped of its nutritious uses
in the tripes and bowels and tuchas
to a dirty destination there can be no other end
Ch
Metacarpal epidermis
hippocampus corpus collosum
liver lungs arachnid layer
squamous epithelium
In our veins and capillaries
lurk the ancient adversaries
phagocytes and t cells seeking only to defeat the foe
if there is no enemy
then they’ll kill anything they see
though it may be their only lifeline they can neither care nor know
Ch
Cornea tympanic membrane
veriform appendix gullet
fibula tibia triceps bicep
spectacles ventricles watch and wallet
From the columns of the legs
the body’s temple stands erected
vessel of a spirit oscillating between love and fear
through the portals of the senses
mounted in the skull’s defenses
visions from a distance for the mind to see and heart to hear
Ch
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7. |
Fun
05:06
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Have fun now
it's better than being bored
fun is fun for everyone
fun is its own reward
Have fun now
take these words to heart
if you aren't having fun right now
when are you gonna start?
Ch
Have fun now
it's all up to you
but save some fun for later on
and you'll have more fun too
Oh have more fun (etc)
Have fun now
have fun every day
but if you don't have no fun to have
have fun anyway
Oh have fun anyway (etc)
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8. |
The Magic Word
02:14
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If you are in the kitchen
and there's cookies on the shelf
don't just climb up and grab one
you can't just help yourself
What's the magic word?
Please please please please
pretty please with lettuce and cheese
don't make me get down on my knees
please please please please please
If you are at the grocery
and you want a candy bar
you better not start whining
remember where you are
What's the magic word?
Please please please please
give it to me before i sneeze
better do it now or i'll give you fleas
please please please please please
If you are watching tv
and it's time to go to bed
your parents might not like it
if you wanna stay up instead
What's the magic word?
No no no no
you can't watch another show
get in your jammies hurry up go
no no no no no
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9. |
Sausage
02:39
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I can't bite into a redhot
out at the park in the shade
ketchup and mustard don't help me
i know how sausage is made
I back away from salami
fresh from the circular blade
no kielbasa or bloodwurst
i know how sausage is made
I've seen the grinder
i've seen the skin
i've seen the plunger
stuffing the stuffing on in
You can keep your chorizo
your baloney parade
i'll stick with my tea and crumpets
i know how sausage is made
I've seen the chimney
i've seen the plume
i've seen the butcher
herding the herd to their doom
Don't bring a braunschweiger sandwich
if you want to get paid
just keep those carrot sticks coming
i know how sausage is made
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10. |
Vaudeville Days
05:44
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It's been so long since i left home,
I'm on my own now
I live my life in a maze
but I still dream of the way that it used to be
back in my vaudeville days
I worked the circuit and lived for the four-a-day
i starred in miracle plays
(you wouldn't think to see me)
I never started on time but I never had to
back in my vaudeville days
And in the summer we would gather
out at the country fair
laugh in the sunlight, greet each other
we thought we'd never ever be leaving there …
It's been so long since i left home,
I'm on my own now
I live my life in a maze (you wouldn't think to see me)
but I remember the way that it used to be
back in my vaudeville days
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11. |
Rain
03:00
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Seattle wa it's a helluva town
the space needle's up and the people get down
life is good, you can get what you bring
But you gotta learn to deal with just one thing
and that's
rain rain rain
rain rain rain
if it wasn't for rain the little flowers wouldn't grow
and it's lovely weather for a vegetable
Seattle wa -- jet city to you
we got it all and we know what to do
i got mine and you can get yours
but you just gotta learn how to get it indoors
outta the
Rain rain rain Etc.
Light mist
glasses wetter
monsoon
carwash!!
Seattle wa, it's the caffine scene
land of the free and the home of the bean
step into 'bucks and get buzzed, you bet
but step outside and you'll be all wet
in the
rain rain rain etc
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12. |
Misery Loves Company
03:08
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I'm a loser, you're a user
We're a team, it's true
Misery loves company
and that's why I love you
I'm a dreamer, you're a screamer
we go loop de loo
Misery loves company
and that's why I love you
Heaven must be beaming with pride
Couldn't be more lame if we tried dear
I'm a pouter you're a doubter
What else can we do?
Misery loves company
and that's why I love you
We don't care if raindrops don't fall
We don't mind the sunshine at all dear
I need plasma you've got asthma
I have asthma too
Misery loves company
and that's why I love you
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13. |
Dynamite Monkey
03:50
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Dynamite monkey sits all alone
nurses his grievances longs for his home
cohort and comfort not in the cards
just a short leash and the plunger he guards
hands on the handle grip is not tight
probably won’t push him he might
Please
don’t tease
dynamite monkey
Dynamite monkey sensitive soul
don’t like his job but he likes the control
never a motion never a twitch
biding his timing awake at the switch
could be up swinging high in the air
show some respect now he’s just sitting there
Please
don’t sneeze
dynamite monkey
And at night he sleeps with one eye open
dreaming dreams of the final explosion
when the world is freed from its disguise
and bananas come raining from the skies
Dynamite monkey he's not to blame
he’s just a pawn in the big monkey game
sworn to the service purchased and sold
see hear and speak only what he is told
for the duration this is his fate
sit at attention and wait just wait
Please
don’t tease
please
don’t sneeze
please
don’t squeeze
dynamite monkey
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14. |
The Present
03:45
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Yesterday’s history, it came and it went
and tomorrow’s a mystery, a path that is bent
you can pound on those doors and you won’t make a dent
but today is a gift
and that’s why we call it the present
Yesterday’s sorrows can bury you deep
and yesterday’s glories can lull you to sleep
but sorrows and glories can both give a bow
to the infinite privlege of being here now -- here now
Ch
Tomorrow’s fresh sunrise invites you to dance
and tomorrow’s new day is an endless second chance
but the dawn of a new day that hasn’t begun
is only a shadow compared to this one -- this one
Ch
In a moment
for a moment
just a moment
wait a moment
There’s only one moment that you’ll ever know
there’s only one breath -- take it in, let it go
and let go of the past, put the future away
for the rest of your life is beginning today -- today
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15. |
Gravity
04:24
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You show me what's up you keep my feet on the ground
you make my whole world spin around
when I fall I fall for you
because nobody holds me like you do
Ch: oh gravity oh gravity
oh gravity hold on to me (2x's)
You're always there no matter where I go
why you attract me I just don't know
lying in bed in your fond embrace
if it wasn't for you i'd go flyin into space
Ch (4x's)
Br: I feel so heavy with you on top
you keep me movin you never let me stop
I wanna break away to fly and be free
but I can't reach escape velocity
Cause your heavenly body it bends my sight
though I'm standin up to you with all my might
but when I fall I fall for you
because nobody holds me like you do
Ch numerous times
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Thaddeus Spae Seattle, Washington
A 40-year veteran of the Folk Wars, Thaddeus Spae has played venues from Tipitina's to the EMP. He's an award-winning songwriter whose works range from quirky to literate, guardedly sentimental to outraged and sarcastic, performed on a panoply of instruments acoustic and electric, in a profligate variety of styles encompassing folk, hard rock, jazz, blues, electronic and more. Website: tspae.com. ... more
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